I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
