there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
