bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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