he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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