You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
The Olympian is in my bed
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
