Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
