I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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