party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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