u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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