Whatcha textin bout Willis?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
