I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
