You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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