He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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