Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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