Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Did you pee in the oven last night??
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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