Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
