Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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