if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I will die if light touches me.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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