My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
