Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize