you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
