all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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