They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Randomize
