he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
