this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
