I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
