are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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