You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize