Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
