Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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