And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
