I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
