Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
