i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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