Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
