Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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