btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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