the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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