My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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