Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I just got carded by a ten year old.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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