I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
