I want to walk on stilts...naked
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
