He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
