I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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