he shaved USA in his pubs
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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