I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
