we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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