you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
