so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
the liver wants what the liver wants
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
