Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
