You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
