yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
