If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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