just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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