Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She's the barista slut.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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