I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
