I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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