Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
