so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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