What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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