once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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