JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
