AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
