worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
How external is "for external use only"?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize