I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
