Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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